When Family Is No Longer Safe: Recognizing Emotional Abuse

24/11/2024

Family should be a place of peace and happiness, where everyone feels loved and valued. However, psychological abuse silently inflicts invisible but profound wounds around us. Unlike physical violence, which is evident through visible injuries, emotional violence “erodes” victims daily, causing immense suffering and a significant impact on mental health.

What Is Emotional Abuse In Families?

Emotional abuse or psychological abuse includes harmful behaviors such as insults, belittlement, control, manipulation, or isolation of family members.

According to Vietnam’s 2022 Law on Domestic Violence Prevention, domestic violence encompasses not only physical but also psychological, economic, and sexual abuse.

Psychological abuse includes actions like yelling, insulting others, isolating loved ones, and forcing someone to obey. These forms of abuse often go unnoticed.

Psychological abuse can take many forms, such as:

Verbal harm: Insults, criticism, comparisons, disparagement, or even threats can make the victim lose confidence and feel insecure.
Isolation: When a victim is cut off from their friends and family, they often feel lonely and unsupported.
Control and manipulation: A person tries to control the emotions, thoughts, and actions of others, making them gradually feel helpless and dependent.
Ignoring and rejecting: Indifference and apathy can make loved ones lose their sense of security and self-worth.
Indirect harm: Destroying belongings, invading privacy, or using children as pawns can cause deep emotional scars.

Consequences Of Psychological Abuse In Families

The wounds caused by emotional violence are not easily seen, but the impact on the mental health of the affected person is extremely profound. The consequences of psychological violence are similar to those of domestic violence, but there are also certain differences.

Impact On Mental Health

Emotional disorders: Victims are prone to anxiety, depression, and even disorders related to stress, obsession, and loss of confidence.
Sleep disorders: Nightmares and prolonged anxiety make it difficult for them to sleep well, leading to a lack of energy and difficulty concentrating.
Self-harm: In some severe cases, psychological violence can cause victims to think about self-harm or suicide, wanting to escape the overwhelming pressure.

Impact On Physical Health

Digestive disorders, stomach pain, and headaches: Chronic stress causes the victim's body to be in a constant state of alarm, causing pain and fatigue.
Uncontrolled weight gain or weight loss.
Cardiovascular diseases: High stress and pressure can easily lead to cardiovascular diseases such as high blood pressure.

Impact On Family Relationships

Rifts in the family: Lack of trust and conflict increase the distance between members.
Difficulty in social relationships: People who experience psychological violence often feel afraid to connect with others, leading to isolation, loss of trust in relationships, and the inability to integrate.

Intergenerational Trauma

Unresolved psychological wounds can affect parenting styles, inadvertently passing trauma to future generations.

Societal Impact

Increased risk of divorce and increased crime rates.
Medical burden and treatment costs: The damage caused by psychological violence is difficult to recover from and requires long-term treatment.
Reduced labor productivity: Psychological stress and obsession make it difficult for victims to concentrate, and lose the ability to work and be creative.

How To Tell If Someone Is Experiencing Domestic Violence?

Psychological violence in the family can be difficult to recognize because it does not leave obvious physical traces. However, these injuries still silently affect the health and psychology of the victims, changing them from deep within.

Emotional Signs

Easily startled and frightened: People living in a psychologically violent environment are often easily agitated and startled by sudden noises or close actions from others.
Persistent fear and anxiety: When under pressure, they gradually lose the safety of their family, leading to a feeling of prolonged fear, always worrying about their actions or words that may make others angry.
Lack of confidence: Psychological violence makes victims gradually doubt their worth. They may blame themselves for things that are not their fault, or always feel that they are not worthy of love and care from others.
Easily crying and sensitive to emotions: Emotions that have been suppressed for a long time can explode through tears. They often cry easily when things do not go as planned, or when they feel care from someone.
Depression: Constant mental trauma makes them prone to depression, often feeling sad, losing interest in life, and finding it difficult to escape this dark feeling.

Behavioral Signs

Signs of self-blame and guilt: Victims may constantly blame themselves for small things, thinking that they are the cause of all problems.
Frequently lying or hiding the truth: To avoid situations that cause them to be scolded or hurt more, victims often choose to lie, even about insignificant things.
Withdrawing, communicating less: People who are psychologically abused are often afraid to share their feelings and thoughts. They become closed, find it difficult to open up to others, and gradually isolate themselves.
Difficulty concentrating and reduced work performance: Prolonged psychological stress makes it difficult for them to concentrate on daily activities, making them prone to making mistakes, and reducing work efficiency.
Fear of social interaction: Victims tend to avoid social activities, reducing their connection with relatives and friends.

Physical Signs

Frequent headaches and stomach aches: Prolonged feelings of stress and anxiety directly affect physical health. Headaches and stomach aches are common symptoms that victims often experience.
Difficulty sleeping or sleep disorders: Haunted by negative experiences, they are prone to insomnia, light sleep, or nightmares. They wake up tired, lack energy, and are prone to fatigue.
Prolonged fatigue: Psychological stress can impair health, making them feel tired even without much activity.
Digestive disorders or unstable eating: Stress can affect digestion and appetite, causing them to either overeat or lose their hunger.
Cardiovascular problems: Long-term stress can cause irregular heartbeat, high blood pressure, and cardiovascular-related symptoms.

Relationship Signs

Few close friends: People who suffer from psychological violence often lose connection with friends and relatives. They are afraid to share, afraid of being judged, or do not want others to know about their situation.
Feeling difficult to integrate into the community: They gradually isolate themselves, lose the ability to integrate into society, and become shy and afraid when facing others.
Tendency to be isolated: This condition makes them easily isolated, creating their safe circle to avoid intrusion by anyone, and creating distance from relatives.

Coping With Psychological Abuse In Families

If you are experiencing domestic violence or know someone who is, try these ways to find support and protect yourself:

Reach out to someone you trust: Talk to a friend, family member, or someone you trust about your situation. Sometimes, a friend's listening ear and empathy can help you find a new direction.

Contact a mental health professional: If you feel like you can't handle it on your own, seek out mental health professionals for advice and support. They can help you rebuild your self-confidence and inner strength.
Connect with support organizations: Many social organizations provide support services for victims of domestic violence. These organizations can help you find ways to protect yourself or find the resources you need to escape this situation.
Join a support group: Being around people who are sympathetic and understand the problem will give you mental strength and a sense of security.
Contact emergency services when necessary: In an emergency or when you can't handle it yourself, call the hotlines that specialize in supporting victims of domestic violence. For example: National Child Protection Hotline (111); Women and Children Support Hotline (1900 96 96 80).

Preventing Psychological Abuse In Families

Prevention is the best way to protect family members from psychological abuse. A healthy family environment helps everyone thrive and feel safe.

Creating An Open Family Environment

An open family environment, where everyone can share feelings and thoughts freely without judgment, is essential for preventing psychological abuse. Families should encourage each member to:

Manage emotions: Learn to control feelings and handle conflicts constructively.
Resolve conflicts healthily: Address issues fairly, ensuring no one is hurt.
Respect each other: Valuing individual boundaries and privacy expresses love and fosters sustainable relationships.

Raising Social Awareness

Beyond fostering a positive family atmosphere, society also plays a crucial role in raising awareness about psychological abuse and individual rights. Necessary measures include:

Enhancing life skills education: Equip individuals with tools to manage stress, communicate effectively, and regulate emotions. You can see a professional, such as a psychologist, to do this.
Promoting healthy family relationships: Media and education about building strong, healthy family bonds help reduce the risk of abuse.
Enforcing legal measures: Clear policies and legal frameworks to protect victims and deter domestic violence are essential.

Psychological abuse is not just a personal issue; it’s a societal responsibility. Together, we can create positive change by speaking out, supporting victims, and promoting a non-violent lifestyle. Let’s build a healthy family environment where everyone feels loved and respected.

If you know someone facing emotional abuse, please support them seeing a psychologist or a professional. Sometimes, seeking help can be incredibly difficult for abused victims.

Prolonged psychological abuse can seriously damage mental health and leave lasting emotional scars. If you need psychological support, visit healthcare centers for timely diagnosis and care, or contact the Vietnam-French Institute of Psychology via Hotline: 0977.729.396 for detailed counseling. Early intervention is key to improving health and quality of life.

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